Living Next to Trolls

Oct 5, 2012 Author Guy

Ever since those fucktard new neighbors moved in with the lady next door, I have hated going outside to walk my dogs. Those people are just too fucking weird. They are ugly as hell. I thought it was two guys but come to find out my neighbor tells me it is her granddaughter and her boyfriend. OMFG – that girl got hit with the ugly stick. And it doesn’t help that she is short and just as big around as she is tall.

So those two sit outside on my neighbor’s back porch and smoke and talk on their cell phones. The boyfriend is very loud and he talks like a troll. Most of what he says is loud grunts and trashy ghetto words.

I feel bad for the neighbor lady and hop that those two move the hell out quick. She must be miserable having to see those two losers every night in her house. Especially when she is such a sweet church lady kind of person and has lived alone for as long as I have live here and known her.

Time for Pumpkins

Oct 2, 2012 Author Guy

Something about the chilly nights and the big harvest moon make me want to go buy some pumpkins and put them on the front porch. I don’t even have any kids to entertain with pumpkin carving, but to me the pumpkin is a seasonal symbol that everyone can embrace. You don’t even have to carve it into a scary face. Just putting a pumpkin on the front porch says that you care about your community and that you are celebrating or at least observing the change of seasons.

This weekend I plan on finding some charity or church that is selling fresh pumpkins and buying a couple. I might even buy an extra one and give it to my neighbor across the street. That old fucker never does anything to decorate his house. Maybe he can’t afford it or maybe he doesn’t think it is important. But if I give him a pumpkin for his front porch, then at least I get to look at it and enjoy the sight of the pumpkin and not just his plain, bare porch with ugly concrete steps.

Of course, if he just tosses it in the trash then I will be pissed off. But that is a possibility when you try to do something nice for people who don’t appreciate it.