Living Next to Trolls

Oct 5, 2012 Author Guy

Ever since those fucktard new neighbors moved in with the lady next door, I have hated going outside to walk my dogs. Those people are just too fucking weird. They are ugly as hell. I thought it was two guys but come to find out my neighbor tells me it is her granddaughter and her boyfriend. OMFG – that girl got hit with the ugly stick. And it doesn’t help that she is short and just as big around as she is tall.

So those two sit outside on my neighbor’s back porch and smoke and talk on their cell phones. The boyfriend is very loud and he talks like a troll. Most of what he says is loud grunts and trashy ghetto words.

I feel bad for the neighbor lady and hop that those two move the hell out quick. She must be miserable having to see those two losers every night in her house. Especially when she is such a sweet church lady kind of person and has lived alone for as long as I have live here and known her.

Cake or Pie?

Sep 27, 2012 Author Guy

If you were going to have a nice dinner with a girl – maybe the first date with her – and you went to a nice restaurant and she wants to order dessert, what would you get? I took it that she wanted to stay at the restaurant a little longer and just keep on talking and getting to know each other while we picked at some dessert and had coffee. So I ordered a slice of pie but she ordered a huge piece of cake called, “Death By chocolate.” Then she only ate about one fourth of the cake and said it was “too rich” for her.

But my pie was good, I didn’t mind that she couldn’t eat all of the cake, but it did kinda bother me that she didn’t take the rest of it home with her. They just cleared the plates away and tossed 3/4 of a good piece of cake into the trash.

Late Night Phone Calls Are Rarely Good

Sep 25, 2012 Author Guy

Families may have different rules and policies about making phone calls at night. I wonder how late you think it is OK to call someone at home without it being so late that you are rude or disturbing the other person or their family?

In my home, as kids, we had a strict no phone calls after 9:00 pm policy. My dad was a real asshole about that. But after he split and left us all behind, my mom kept that rule. She pretty much said that it was rude to talk on the phone later than 9:00 pm on a school night. She also said that it would be rude to be a guest at someone’s house and stay later than 9:00 pm.unless it was a big party and the host was expecting everyone to stay on past midnight.

I know that I have been at someone’s house and started to feel like it was getting late and I wanted to leave. I have also had people over to my house and it was getting late and I wanted to ask them to leave. It gets to be a touchy thing – you don’t want to be rude, but sometimes you have to say things out loud because they just aren’t getting the fucking hint.

At my house, I don’t want a phone call past 9:00 pm, and I have found that on the few times the phone has rung later than that, the news was always bad. Sometimes you can’t wait until morning to share the bad news, but I always hesitate to answer the phone if it rings late at night. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with any more problems or bad news.

Season Passes at the Theme Park

Jun 9, 2012 Author Guy

When we were kids my mom would take us to the big theme park at least 5 or 6 times every summer. I don’t know how she did it. The tickets to the theme park are expensive as hell and she had to pay for not only us three kids but herself and sometimes one or two of our friends.

Not only do you have to fork out a shitload of money for an admission ticket, you have to pay to park the car and you are not allowed to bring any food or drinks into the park with you. You have to pay outrageous prices for the refreshments that they sell inside the park. In today’s money, a coke is like $10 for one drink and a hot dog was like $7.50 for just one fucking hot dog. Of course, when you are there all day long in the heat of summer you get hungry and thirsty, so you have to buy some food and drinks at their outrageous prices.

My mom was a single mom who didn’t get any financial help from my dad, so money was always tight. But somehow she always found a way to get us to fun places on the weekends. She told me once that the season tickets at Kings Dominion were probably the best entertainment money she ever spent. We had so many days of nothing but fun and excitement, and after you go the second time on a season ticket the rest of the times you go are pretty much for free except for the price of refreshments after you get inside the park.

Taking my girl out

Apr 22, 2012 Author Guy

So i am taking my girl out to this new bar this weekend and I am so fucking stoked. My brother went there last weekend and said he had so much fucking fun. It is a country western bar that even has a bull riding contest like Gilley’s in Texas used to. I have never tried to ride one of those mechanical bulls, but I hear it is a lot of fun. Of course if you are drinking, just about anything is fun. My girl likes to line dance, so I know that she is going to love this place. I suppose I am going to have to learn how to line dance too now.

I can do a few of the country dances, like the two step and such, but I have never tried the line dances before. I hear that there are line dancing classes at this bar during the week when it is slow in there. I might go hit a couple of them up so I can finally do them. They don’t look that hard, but it doesn’t hurt to take a few classes. I just don’t think I will tell the guys just yet about them though.