Cake or Pie?

Sep 27, 2012 Author Guy

If you were going to have a nice dinner with a girl – maybe the first date with her – and you went to a nice restaurant and she wants to order dessert, what would you get? I took it that she wanted to stay at the restaurant a little longer and just keep on talking and getting to know each other while we picked at some dessert and had coffee. So I ordered a slice of pie but she ordered a huge piece of cake called, “Death By chocolate.” Then she only ate about one fourth of the cake and said it was “too rich” for her.

But my pie was good, I didn’t mind that she couldn’t eat all of the cake, but it did kinda bother me that she didn’t take the rest of it home with her. They just cleared the plates away and tossed 3/4 of a good piece of cake into the trash.

Late Night Phone Calls Are Rarely Good

Sep 25, 2012 Author Guy

Families may have different rules and policies about making phone calls at night. I wonder how late you think it is OK to call someone at home without it being so late that you are rude or disturbing the other person or their family?

In my home, as kids, we had a strict no phone calls after 9:00 pm policy. My dad was a real asshole about that. But after he split and left us all behind, my mom kept that rule. She pretty much said that it was rude to talk on the phone later than 9:00 pm on a school night. She also said that it would be rude to be a guest at someone’s house and stay later than 9:00 pm.unless it was a big party and the host was expecting everyone to stay on past midnight.

I know that I have been at someone’s house and started to feel like it was getting late and I wanted to leave. I have also had people over to my house and it was getting late and I wanted to ask them to leave. It gets to be a touchy thing – you don’t want to be rude, but sometimes you have to say things out loud because they just aren’t getting the fucking hint.

At my house, I don’t want a phone call past 9:00 pm, and I have found that on the few times the phone has rung later than that, the news was always bad. Sometimes you can’t wait until morning to share the bad news, but I always hesitate to answer the phone if it rings late at night. Sometimes I just don’t want to deal with any more problems or bad news.

WTF is that Car?

Sep 8, 2012 Author Guy

Saw a car in the parking lot of Kroger last night and it really grabbed my attention. First of all, it was this weird yellowish orange color that I haven’t noticed on any other cars. I’m not a fan of yellow cars anyway – I think they are ugly. Some colors just don’t belong on cars, you know what I mean?

Anyway, the body style of the car was very modern and slick. At first I thought it was a new Porsche or some new European model car. That is not all that unusual around here, because we have a lot of filthy rich motherfuckers living in Nashville. Between all the music business people and famous singers and songwriters, plus all the pro-sports people, Nashville is loaded with rich people who drive fancy cars.

So, I was intrigued to see both the actual model of the car and also if it had any particular vanity license plates that would give me a clue as to who was driving this sweet ride. So, I drove around the end of the two other lanes in the parking lot and drove the wrong way away from the exit just to get a good look at the car.

Turns out the car had temporary paper tags on it – so it was brand new and no help there with who owned it. And the little silver logo piece on the back of the car says that it is a Nissan. Holy Mother – that is a sweeeeeeeeeet ride! I want one of those!